why is my bench so weak?

i started working out a year ago almost to the day ,  i was about 145lbs , and im atleast 5'11-6 feet , i now weight about 175lbs , its not all muscle , but most friends that see me now say i look jacked up , implying big , hahaha makes me feel good altho i want to be more cut , anyway , last year when id try bench , id use a 45lb plate on each side and the bar weighed 45lbs, so thats 135lbs , i could do like 4-6 reps. and now a year later ,  my rep ranges with the same weight arent much differnt , i mean i can get to like 8-10 on the first set then like 6 or less and so on , i do switch my routines and try to keep them ranging in intensity .  i just took a week off , today was my first day back  , i did chest ,  and i put 10 extra pounds on , never done that much , the first set i think i got 7-8 , so i took the ten back off and i still only got like 6  so i strippe off the 45lbs plates and put on the 35s and still only got to like 7-8 , like  .. i dont see how a year later im not stronger.  then i went to incline with DBs  , i started with 55lbs , something i normally could get to 8 with i got to 3 , so i then grabbed 45lbs DBs , and got to like 6 , so the next set i dropped it again to 40s , and only got to like 6 , i never usually drop weight , i thought if i did my rep ranges would go up but they didnt thats so wierd...some people say u gain size and strenght when taking a week off , i lost alot of weight , that i blame on not keepin up with my calories , i actually ate well below even maitenence. but my strength decrease is pethetic..
 
i heard db bench is harder cuz of the stabilizer muscles u use , so u push less with DBs , well two weeks ago i used 80dbs , got to 8 reps , most ive ever lifted ,  so if DBs are harder why could i do 160lbs with them and only 145 with bar bench? so stupid!
 
* THIS IS THE THING THAT BUGS ME THE MOST!!!! THAT WHEN I DO CHEST I ONLY FEEL IT IN MY FRONT DELTS , I KNOW IT HITS THEM BUT ITS ALMOST LIKE ITS ALL I HIT , I GOT NO CHEST PUMP AND NO DELT PUMP , WHEN I MAX OUT ITS ALMOST LIKE MY DELTS ARE PARYLIZED!  SO NO PUMP , ONLY A FEELING LIKE I CANT MOVE.. SO STUPID. AND I FEEL EVERYTHING IN MY FRONT DELT FROM WHEN I DO BACK , TO BIS DOESNT MATTER ITS A WIERD FLAW I HAVE!
 
and with the fact that i cant bench more , my back never gets pumped , bigger or stronger.
 
what am i doing wrong? im a year in an d dont want to quit

That's really interesting...just so I understand, you've been stalled at 135 on flat BB bench for a year but can do 80lbs Db's on flat bench about 8X's?   
 
Just a guess but when you do DB's where is your elbow position.. ?   When most people do DB's.. the tend to flare their elbows out more and when this is done, it causes you to use more of the pec and less of the Tricep...
 
So I'm guessing that when you flat bench with a bar, you're probably keeping your elbows around 45 Degs as you should and due to having weak triceps, your limited to what you can push.  And just the opposite is happening on DB's.. your flaring out your elbows and this is using more of the pec and delt to push the DB's up...
 
Obviously, without seeing you bench it's impossible to determine what the problem could be but from what you've described, that would be my first guess.. weak triceps..
 
Describe your elbow position on both DB and BB bench
Describe where the sticking point seems to be on Flat bench
What type of Triceps workout do you do?  do you ever do close grip bench? if so, how much weight.. Same with any other triceps exercises you do.. list the exercises along with your max...
 
You might as well go ahead and list your entire workout along with your max lifts.. for all major compounds you perform.... because you mentioned lack of progress on your back. which could also be the culprit.. 
 
 

There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing

 

the work used by the delts is most likely caused by your position on the bench.

When benching push your chest out, arching your back slightly and opening your thorax. This brings your shoulders back slightly also. Lie on the bench with the flat of your upper back.
This puts all work onto the chest. If your delts are infront of or in-line with your chest, then they will be worked at the front.

i had the same problem (still do) until i watched this video, which is somewhere in this forum!

http://thefitshow.com/week3/milos_chest_med.htm

only watched this recently and now i cant wait 'til money to correct my bad habits!

this is my second week back after the break , still at a loss to alot of my strength but for fun i had my buddy spot me so i could see if i could bench 185lbs on the BB.. he had to help me , or did before i could try to get the bar off the stand , but then apparently he said i got a good 4-5 in myself before he started to spot me ,  im wondering if i mix it up a bit ,  would i gain more strength
 and by this i mean , my goal is mass gain 100% but strength is important , and since 4-6 reps are for strength , in my routine , if on flat bench i use heavy weight like the 185 , and then for the rest of my routine , i stay in the 8-10 rep range to get my size gain , is this a good idea?

can someone answer that ,
if i use heavy weight for one exercise(bench) and get 4-6 reps in  with a spot
then for my other exercises for that muscle stay in the same rep range of 8-10 will get size and strength or is a bad idea?
 
also anyone heard of wave sets , my partner read it in a book and wants us to start doing them , like
set1- reps8-10
set2-reps 4-6
set3-12-15
 
or  do them  in whatever order... sounds good but wondering how it will work for mass