well veggeep nailed it perfectly. I am the same person but I have become a more popular person in this shallow world where looks seem to be everything to teenage girls.
Its kind of sad though, Im obsessed with body building to the point where Im on sites reading about it or working out every minute of my free time. I want to be bigger, stronger, its an obsession that may never end for me, which is why i found it sad. It started out as a way to protect myself, and now I am obsessed with my image and trying to be bigger then as big as possible.
I talk to my girlfriend about lifting weights and getting bigger all the time....Thats how i know im obsessed to the point where its pathetic
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, Mustang -don't beat yourself up for becoming "obsessed" about lifting. There's nothing "pathetic" about wanting to make a difference in your own life. The fact that you recognize how shallow people can be proves that you're already on your way to developing a sense of equilibrium with regard to your preoccupation. Sooner or later it hits every one of us -no matter how competitive we are, or how far along in our progress we get: there is
always someone bigger, with better genetics, or who started earlier and will always look sexier. When that reality sinks in, you find that it's much easier to surrender to it and your priorities shift dramatically. Almost overnight, you come to grips with the
fact that the only person who can ever let you be satisfied with your body is YOU. And when that happens, you find yourself training because you LOVE it, and because you crave the sensations it brings -not because you're chasing that perpetually moving target of public approval.
I won't kid you -I'm not there by a long shot. I do derive a lot more personal enjoyment from working out than I ever did in the past, but I still find myself slipping into envy and regret every once in a while. Shoot, an hour ago, just as I was pulling into the parking lot at my tanning salon, Bob Paris' twin brother comes strolling out of the joint with his sleeves rolled up, sporting two of the sickest, most defined guns I've seen on a guy my age in years. Right away, I start comparing notes, kicking myself for the ten years I spent pissing and moaing about how everyone else MUST be on 'roids, instead of just picking up the iron and making it happen. And, almost as quickly, that tiny voice in the back of my head chimed in, "you
ARE making it happen, jacka$$! He's been beating those triceps into shape for years, and you KNOW it. That's nothing that time, focus, perserverance, and sensible training won't do for you too. Now cut the crap and keep your eyes on your OWN prize!"
Yes, that's me in my avatar, and NO, I don't look like that today. That was taken back in Jan '07, and I lost most of that progress when I slacked off last year. I'm on my way back, tho, and I'm using that photo for inspiration.