Hi everyone i need help

Im about 180cm tall and i weigh around 60kgs i have a good shape frame but i just need to build on it. Im the kind of person which finds it hard to find motivation, i wanna start slowly and then start getting my motivation with the results i get. I eat around 3 normal meals a day and around 1 or 2 protein shakes a day (half carb, half protein). I have just started this around 1 week ago. I find that going to gym at this stage is a no go, im just too tired after work, i work in a office and its mind stressing when i get home i have a 20 min nap eat dinner and lift abit of weights in my room. At the moment im playing with a 40 pound dumbell and i got a bench press down stairs with 40 KGS on it. i think that should start me off. Ive been using the 40 pound dumbell to do both my biceps at the same time maybe 4 sets of 15 and also my shoulders. I use the downstairs bench press to do my chest 3 sets of 8-10 thats all i can do atm but im getting better.  PLease i need advice and what routines should i do reps/positions etc.

Oh yeh one other thing continuing from my original post , i have a very fast metabolism if i eat and sleep i wont even put on a kilo. Its hard for me to gain mass by jus eating normally And its hard to force food down my mouth. See what kind of situation im in  very frustrating. ahhh please help.

I don't get it, you say you have a fast metobolism, yet from the looks of it, you don't eat much as suggested "force food down my mouth". Anyways, check this article out

http://www.discussbodybuilding.com/m_111173/mpage_1/tm.htm

Great article to link

anyway, yeah you say you have a high metabolism, but you also say your so tired...your post is rather confusing.

you sound like you know what you want, you just dont know how to get there.

first of all you should be eating 5-6 meals a day, not just 3. And if its hard for you to "force" food down as you put it, try useing mass gainer, and atleast 1gram of protein per pound of body wieght. Also there is a calorie needs calculator in the nutrition section on this site, go have a look and it will help you out bunch's

Second if you want to achieve your goal you have to be willing to put forth the effort. Make yourself go to the gym, it doesnt sound like you got a very adaquete home gym there. If its still hard to go to the gym, do something like If I go to the gym and workout then I will reward myself with _____. You get the idea, but you have to make yourself do the work. It takes 21 days to form a habit.

It also sounds like you want to gain mass, so reps between 3-6 would be ideal eventually. routines like 3x5, 5x3 or 6x6 are good examples...but you have to be doing wieght that you can lift intensley for 3-6 reps.

Hope this helps, Good luck

So basically i have to eat when im not hungry??? And im only going to use the stuff that i got at home until i see some small results then buy more weights and get more bigger results thats when i think ill get motivation to go gym by myself ... also im using a mass gainer its got half protein - half carbs (creatine, glutamine included) its a good blend ive been told, i take between 70-80 GRAMS a day, Reccomendation is 80 grams whenever u take it. Is what im taking enough for now? .
My main problem is I find it very hard to get motivation  , that 21 days thing is interesting i better keep up lifting some weights. How long do you think it would take to put on 18 kilos? thats my goal and how long should i rest between each set when doing a session?  Your help is really appreciated guys thanks.

It really depends on your diet and workout on how fast you get your 18 kilo's.
 
yes, you need to eat 5-6 smaller meals a day, even if you arent that hungry, eat something. You wont ever put on the wieght if you arent taking in the calories to put it on.
 
for gaining mass, generally longer rest periods are best. usually around 2 minutes or so.
 
and some thing that helps a few people with motivation is to take a picture of yourself now, and post it places like at work somewhere to remind you that you want to improve.

To gain mass, Eat, Train, and Rest.
Five or six meals is a must, using the proper food sources to reach the right amount of calories a day is the way to any fitness goal- Whether it's more muscle, less fat, more energy... Check out the top posts in the nutrition forum, there's tons of great reading there.
Training properly is another must- Each muscle group should be trained, normally split into groups like this- Chest, Legs, Back, Shoulders, Arms, Abs. Keep in mind it's not necessary to do a crazy amount of work to build muscle- There are tons of different routines out there to choose from that will give you great results, check out the training journals for some ideas. Using the amount of weight you have will get old really quick though- Muscle needs to be challenged in order to grow, and a little bit of weight for a lot of reps doesn't always work to build muscle.
Resting is equally important- Muscle grows when you're resting, not when you're in the gym. The workout just sparks the growth, you have to allow the muscle group plenty of time to rest and rebuild from the workout- Which is why most of us here work each muscle group just once or twice a week.

OK, you are not going to get anywhere if you don't go to the gym. Just lifting 40lb dumbell curls and benching will not get you strong. You need to do Military Presses, Squats, and Deadlifts! Even if you are lucky enough to gain some mass, you'll be so disportionate you'll look like a bowling pin. Last ttime I checked, that does not get you in the bed of a women...

JugOfLard, there's more than looking muscular that get's a woman in bed.

Anyways, btemtd, you don't necessary need to go the gym as JugOfLard suggested. If you have a bench, weights then that should be fine. Just buy some more weights when necessary, and a barbell, and there you go, you can do any freeweight exercise at "the comfort of your own home". Exercises such as military press, bench press, deadlift, squats are a good starting point.

Thanks guys, yeh your right vdk_au because i can even see some progress already and i only started 1 week ago. So just imagine if i continue and upgrade my weights.
 
The hard part i tihnk is too eat 5-6 meals a day, im not a morning eater and i rush in the morning i only eat a little snack in the morning before lunch. im going to have to eat a big lunch then eat a few snacks between dinner, then big dinner and a few snacks again before the night then eat another meal in the night then finish it off with a huge protein shake what do you thnk of this guys. ??? Can that pass for 5-6 meals a day ??

Oh yeh one other thing guys, is there a way i can slow down my metabolism in a healthy way or non damaging way?? It will Save me having to force feed my self sometimes lol

I struggled with eating in the morning, but if you start eating reguarly, you'll get use to it, and if you're doing intense exercises, you'll need it. If you're in rush in the morning, which I always get the same excuse from everyone :D, then wake up a bit earlier, and even give it some time before you eat. I usually do all my other things, such as getting dressed, showering, preparing meals, and then once you done all that, then eat breakfast.

There are, but they are for people with medical conditions. I'm in the same situtation as you, and the only way is to eat more. I know what you mean about not having the appetite to eat more, but just start slowly (i.e eat small snacks etc), then once you start building up your appetite then increase it. I remembered when I started, my 2nd meal only consisted of 1 cup of milk, with a handful of nuts, now it's like 2 slices of bread with peanut butter, and a couple of bowls of rice + meat. Just increase it slowly, and you'll be fine. 

Ok sounds good but wat if i miss out on breakfast cant i just move my meals more into the day, lets just say 1st meal i eat is 12pm then fit all the meals in before i sleep? And how big are the meals i should be eating.
 

No, that is not ok, lol. If your 1st meal is at 12pm, that is too long. It's like trying to drive a car with little fuel left for a long distance. You will be able to still get somewhere, but after awhile, it'll break down. Same thing with breaky.

A very good tip: Set your alarm to go off everyday, so you don't miss your breakfast, this means even if you have to wake up half an hour early than usual, if you want results, you need to put the effort in. I myself use to take half of the time it takes now, since I do struggle slightly with my breakfast, which is why I have to wake up early to. It takes me like 20-30 minutes to finish my breakfast! It's not that big, but yea, it's just hard to eat in the morning. Just take your time!

Every meal should be roughly the same proportion (4-6 meals), but from the sounds of it, you should aim for 5-6.

I calculated your required intake with the calorie calculator obtained from this site (can't remember where exactly though), and you need around 3000 calories, which is around 500 calories for each meal. If you cannot fit that much in initially, don't worry, just eat what you can and gradually increase it. But as you gain weight, you also need to increase your calories.

Hope this helps.

ok but doesnt 1 supplement shake have as many or more calories then one 500 calorie meal. So should that take over 1 meal if i take 1 shake per day?? The shake i have is mainly half Carbs and half protein.

Read this:
http://www.discussbodybuilding.com/m_111175/mpage_1/tm.htm

Try to avoid shakes, but rather consume meals, but if you need to, I guess 1 shake is Ok. Just make sure that every meal contains fats/carbs/protein. It's all stated in the guide.

Also, read this as well. I would recommend you trying out the routine
http://www.discussbodybuilding.com/m_120872/mpage_1/key_Natural%2cMass/tm.htm#195340

Eating properly is just as important as the wieght lifting. Its like giving a car 1/2 a tank and trying to drive it the distance a full tank can go.
 
Breakfast is extremly important, that crap about it being the most important meal wasnt all talk. It really is, and by skipping out on it your robing yourself of energy. So guess where your body gets its energy from when you dont feed it?...your body will tear down muscle and use it for energy.
 
you may not be a morning eater, but just like getting used to lifting wieghts you have to force yourself to go and do it. as vdk suggested set your alarm so you dont miss it. and getting 500 calories in 6 smaller meals really isnt as hard as you think.
 
and as for the shakes, nothing is wrong with taking them to add in the extra protein/carbs/calories depending on the type. but you can always eat somethign with it to add in some good fat/carbs or more calories. for example, when I drink my protein shakes I always like to add a small protein bar or 2 granola bars with it. that way im getting lots of protein, and im adding carbs/more calories and fat.
 
depending on when you wake up a typical day can work out something like this.
 
8am- breakfast
10am- snack
12/1- lunch
3-4 - snack
6-7 - dinner
before dinner snack mix of protein and carbs
 
just sit down and plan it out according to your schedule. Peanuts/fruit/shakes/pb&j/pb&banana/other nuts/whole wheat sandwhichs all make great snacks, find good things you like!

im going to use all your advices :) thanks. One other thing is all calories the same for instance when you say i should consume atleast 3000 calories a day, well a can of coke has 161 calories in it does that count??? or a packet of chips do they count??

Yes they count, but with the chips try to stay torwards the baked variety if thats your thing. =P
 
I feel its best to try to stay as healthy as possible when trying to gain wieght, so to optimize the lean gains. Incase you didnt know tho, if I recall correctly there is 4 calories in one carb/protein and 7 in one fat.

current 5rm On the texas method
Squat:325
Deadlift:365
Bench:255
My lifting journal

http://strengthmill.net/forum/showthread.php?s=38c084ec0455b629ed0f09e4af40aeaf&t=2407&page=8

Guys you have answered all my questions thanks , its now a matter of will power..  im scared.

Maybe you can find a friend with the same interest to train together with you. This should help with keeping your motivation high. You might even find someone in this forum who lives around your place.

yeh that would be good soon as i start to get results from home i will start going gym, anyone live in Sydney, Australia, Near Liverpool haha. Oh yeh one other thing about the calorie thing... are there different types of calories, like does liquid calorie burn away quiker that solid calorie ?? Today i was trying to eat lunch and i didnt have an appetite i had a bar Nut/honey/chocalate in the morning with milk then i tried to eat a plate of macaroni for lunch at 12pm i ended up finishing it at 2:30pm on my last break at work, then at 5pm i ate a plate of fish n chips, then at 9pm i had a shake. is that alright?? and howcome i didnt have an appetite at lunch, is that normal ??