Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids
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Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 2/3/2005 6:24:58 AM
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metabomaster
Posts: 29
Joined: 2/1/2005
From: Ohio
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Any words of wisdom for those that try to manage a full schedule and still get in time to focus on the body. I say the "the body" because in all reality your workout doesn't end when you leave the gym.
I have determined that I spend a lot of time writing things down, fixing shakes, talking about working out with others, water consumption and I am sure many other things that I don't even pay attention to. My wife says I am obsessed and somethings got to give. I think she is jealous because she can't workout as often or as intensely because of a med. cond. and time alottment. I go at 5:30 AM 5 days a week before anything or anyone is even moving!
Any Advice or comments are welcome...
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 2/3/2005 10:45:10 AM
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Old Navy
Posts: 2877
Joined: 1/7/2005
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Steve: I have a full-time job, rehearse two nights a week for choir, sing in the choir on
Sunday, have two daughters in college and enjoy a wonderful relationship of 25+ years with a wife who doesn't work out. I get up every morning, Monday - Friday at 4:45 AM, make the coffee and prepare a little breakfast for my wife, who I wake up at 5:30. She joins me for breakfast until I leave home at 6 AM for my 6:30 workout. I also spend time in the evening preparing my post-workout breakfast, lunch and two protein shakes for the next day. My wife knows bodybuilding is my sport of choice. I don't go bowling or shoot pool, or go out drinking with the guys. I also don't play tennis, golf or shoot skeet. I'm a bodybuilder. In order not to appear obsessed or excessive, I try not to talk about it too much to my wife. She knows I have a bunch of gym rats for friends, and we have even had them to the house for dinner a few times, with their spouses. I don't write anything down. I keep my schedule in my head. I know what bodypart I need to work on and what exercises to do. I don't keep a journal. As I am preparing to enter my first body building competition in six weeks, I do take measurements every two weeks to see where I am at that moment. I don't show off my muscles to my wife. She knows how I look and feel without me shoving it in her face. And, she likes what she sees and feels. She has told me so. And when she does, I say, "thanks, baby" and then don't dwell on it. My wife would like nothing more than to have the time to work out. Hers is not a health problem, it's an ill mother problem that takes a lot of my wife's time and enegy. I guess I am very lucky that my wife is so supportive. But, I try to be very careful not to make my bodybuilding more important than our relationship. When I get home after work, I always ask her how her day was (she also works full time) and I listen to her answer. I'll be 62 in April.
_____________________________
Scott "Old Navy" Hults, NFPT-CPT; NGA-CPT
FAME, NGA & IDFA Natural Master Pro Bodybuilder
FAME, NGA & OCB Contest Judge
(in reply to metabomaster)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 2/4/2005 11:07:58 PM
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SmileNodDream
Posts: 372
Joined: 10/26/2004
From: Auckland, New Zealand
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Steve, I think these are very interesting concerns. I made a DECISION and then proceeded to train five times a week to support that decision. Now that training is a habit and I do it whether I want to or not. I understand that I reduce some amount of 'family' time because of this decision. However my kids deserve to have a balanced, healthy, fit, active mother in their life and my husband deserves to have a motivated, sexy, fit and interesting wife in his life. So my decision costs me some time but not too much 'family' time for what it returns in terms of my energy levels, self-esteem and ability to be present for them when I am home.
Luckily my husband also embarked on a training and fitness habit at the same time so we both make time and compromise for each other. Sometimes, like Friday morning, when it just happens that we are both at gym lifting weights at the same time, it is really nice that we are on the same wavelength. We havn't progressed to spotting each other yet though. I have my programme and he has his. My exciting news about hubby is that he is going to box in the ring in a fight in 8 weeks time. We have both been doing boxing training for over six months now with personal trainers. However hubby has been offered a promotional fight for a boxing gym in town between him (a complete novice) and another guy who has experience. Hubby has decided to go for this and I am fully behind him. He's 43 years old and never been in a ring. I think the whole thing will be great for him mentally and physically.
I have my own competitive thing going with my squash which is another thing that will take time and may clash with our winter skiing commitments. Just gotta make it work somehow and still be there to say "Hey how was ya day?"
My sister says I am selfish taking the training time etc blah blah etc. But I disagree. One to two hours training five times a week makes me a much better wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. This much I know.
Regards Jill from New Zealand
_____________________________
Need nothing.....
Desire everything.......
Choose what shows up............
(in reply to Old Navy)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 2/15/2005 9:00:32 AM
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metabomaster
Posts: 29
Joined: 2/1/2005
From: Ohio
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SmileNodDream
Steve, I think these are very interesting concerns. I made a DECISION and then proceeded to train five times a week to support that decision. Now that training is a habit and I do it whether I want to or not. I understand that I reduce some amount of 'family' time because of this decision. However my kids deserve to have a balanced, healthy, fit, active mother in their life and my husband deserves to have a motivated, sexy, fit and interesting wife in his life. So my decision costs me some time but not too much 'family' time for what it returns in terms of my energy levels, self-esteem and ability to be present for them when I am home.
Luckily my husband also embarked on a training and fitness habit at the same time so we both make time and compromise for each other. Sometimes, like Friday morning, when it just happens that we are both at gym lifting weights at the same time, it is really nice that we are on the same wavelength. We havn't progressed to spotting each other yet though. I have my programme and he has his. My exciting news about hubby is that he is going to box in the ring in a fight in 8 weeks time. We have both been doing boxing training for over six months now with personal trainers. However hubby has been offered a promotional fight for a boxing gym in town between him (a complete novice) and another guy who has experience. Hubby has decided to go for this and I am fully behind him. He's 43 years old and never been in a ring. I think the whole thing will be great for him mentally and physically.
I have my own competitive thing going with my squash which is another thing that will take time and may clash with our winter skiing commitments. Just gotta make it work somehow and still be there to say "Hey how was ya day?"
My sister says I am selfish taking the training time etc blah blah etc. But I disagree. One to two hours training five times a week makes me a much better wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. This much I know.
Regards Jill from New Zealand
Wow that is amazing. I guess it is a matter of compromise and in your case being fortunate to have a "hubby" that has the same interest as you. My wife used to really be into it before she and I got together and she dwindled off the further we got into our relationship. As Old Navy said earlier I don't push her about it nor do I talk much about my workouts but she now thinks along the same lines as your sister and often tells me that I spend too much time at the gym. I workout from about 5:45 a.m. before anyone or anything is even moving and get home between 7:00 and 7:15 a.m. I honestly don't think this is "too much" but I sometimes feel guilty and wonder if it is because she starting to reach the age where women find it more difficult to lose weight. We have been married close to two years (don't laugh Old Navy) and she has gone from a size 6 to a 14. She is still sexy to me and after 2 kids she had previously I think she still looks great even as a 14. She doesn't have cellulite or flab she has just filled in and wears it well so to speak. But there is no convining her of that. I have a very high metabolism, even for a 38 year old male and weight gain is like speaking Russian to me. And I think there may be some jealousy but I am addicted to working out and have minimized it as much as I possibly can. No weekends and 4 days a week on average at about 1.5 hours each day I'm in there.
Maybe someone here can lift some of this guilt off of my shoulders and tell me that I am being reasonable with my workouts?
(in reply to SmileNodDream)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 2/15/2005 10:25:32 PM
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SmileNodDream
Posts: 372
Joined: 10/26/2004
From: Auckland, New Zealand
Status: offline
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quote:
Maybe someone here can lift some of this guilt off of my shoulders and tell me that I am being reasonable with my workouts?
Hey Meta I think you are being reasonable with your training, esp. if you are getting up early and still doing your part with the family and all. It's about putting ourselves first for some time so that we are able to be present and happy and productive when we engage with our loved ones for the other times.
Also here's a saying "Get off his/her back, get out of his/her life, get on with your own life". It's not as harsh as it sounds, it just means focus on you and let others just be whatever they need to be. Don't catch any stuff that they throw about being selfish and reinforce your love for her regardless of her weight.
That's my two penny's worth LOL
Regards Jill from New Zealand
PS I was feeling alot more "up" when I wrote that first post, it was good for me to read it again, thanks !!
_____________________________
Need nothing.....
Desire everything.......
Choose what shows up............
(in reply to metabomaster)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 4/14/2005 5:47:45 AM
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gzinkl
Posts: 3212
Joined: 3/23/2005
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
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Hi Meta,
It seems to me you're doing everything just fine. One to 1.5 hours in the gym is perfect to get a good workout (and if that includes getting ready for work, terrific!)
Is it possible, if you don't already, to do something a little sweet for your wife every morning before going off to the gym? Anything that would help her out or make her feel special. Make coffee, empty the dishwasher, put the kids' clothes out, pack the kids' lunches, feed the pets, write her a goofy littly note and put it somewhere she'll find it first thing when she gets up, whatever. Obviously, something you don't usually do.
My idea is that you're creating an association in your wife's mind that when you're doing something special for yourself, you're also doing something special for her (that has immediate gratification). We all know that your working out is special for her too, but might not be immediately realized by her. She'll be grateful when you can still haul her over the threshold when you're 70, and proud when women half your age flirt with you! ;) Plus, you're so sweet to fix her coffee every morning before you go work out (or whatever!).
In my household, the partner gets up first and fixes my coffee and oatmeal (he doesn't work out and just has toast, so the oatmeal is nothing he's interested in). It makes me feel that I'm an important part of his life with such a small gesture--done every day. I think Old Navy has a similar habit with his wife and making her breakfast.
Just an idea that rather than just justify what is by default justifiable, but to try to ameliorate the situation.
_____________________________
"If there's nothing else that's relevant, I'll be leaving now"
"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground"
(in reply to SmileNodDream)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 4/20/2005 5:54:41 AM
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MR.CLEAN
Posts: 102
Joined: 4/19/2005
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I think that you being concerned shows that your heart is in the right place
_____________________________
Every day is my best day; this is my life.
I'm not going to have this moment again.
-Bernie Siegal
(in reply to gzinkl)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 9/26/2005 6:38:18 AM
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Malek256
Posts: 13
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Marc David
quote:
I understand that I reduce some amount of 'family' time because of this decision.
Maybe at that moment but in the long run you'll end up giving your family a lot better years of good health then if you were to not exercise and pretty much have checked out by age 60.
So in essence, you are prolonging that family time by making sure you are around to spend it.
Exactly. Just lost my mom almost a year ago to a heart attack -- entirely preventable. She "worked out" but not intensely, cheated on her diet constantly and we miss her like hell.
Don't do that to your family -- screw what other people who don't live your life tell you. It's cheap shots they take to avoid doing the hard stuff. 100% negativity to justify how they sit on their ass in bed while you tough down another set in the gym.
One suggestion -- is it possible for you to get a gym at home? I try to encourage but not push my wife -- and I do what I can to look after our daughter to give her the 20 minutes to do what she wants. She is progressing well. We also have Tuesday night and Sunday morning as "drop-in" time. I will work out with friends and neighbours who use our gym. My wife enjoys this time and does not resent it.
< Message edited by Malek256 -- 9/26/2005 6:39:57 AM >
_____________________________
Admin Gaining Mass
(in reply to Marc David)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 9/28/2005 8:58:04 AM
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dreagen
Posts: 51
Joined: 5/27/2005
Status: offline
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Meta,
I was in the same boat as you. I had a stressful job, 3 Kids and My wife. There were times that my wife asked would start arguing with me about working out. What I have done is Asked My boss if I could come in an Hour early and take an extra long lunch hour. This way I work out while the kids are in school and the wife is at work. I also started to play Lacrosse again so there goes two nights a week and one day for games on the weekend. I play with a club that has a mens and womens club so what i do is i take my two oldest with me and they play with the Womens team. This also gets them excited about sports and excersing and it is something that is Daddy, Daughter Bonding. while we are doing this this gives my wife special time with the Baby. Once my wife gave me a guilt trip about all I do so for one week I didn't workout or play lacrosse. She ended up forcing me back when she realized how much stress I am under at work and saw the difference at the end of the week. That is the main reason I started Working out again. The Doctor said it will help with Stress. So now instead of a stressed out, tempermental father and husband they get to spend less time with me but it is definatly better quality time.
(in reply to Malek256)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 9/28/2005 9:01:56 AM
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dreagen
Posts: 51
Joined: 5/27/2005
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PS... It is OK to be obbsesed about your health....
(in reply to dreagen)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 1/25/2006 8:25:23 PM
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Malek256
Posts: 13
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline
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Any of you put together a good home gym? It's pretty much taken over my basement and become quite a social thing for neighbours to come by twice a week for some intense lift sessions! Sure is healthier than drinking beer...
_____________________________
Admin Gaining Mass
(in reply to dreagen)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 6/21/2006 11:10:19 AM
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ironaddict
Posts: 46
Joined: 6/1/2006
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I work 50 hours a week, with a 35 minute one-way commute. I have a son who is 8 and a daughter who is 5. My wife works part-time. When I started working out one of the things I worried about was taking time away from my kids, but you know what? My little family still has supper together every night, we have family night once a week, we pray together every night at bedtime. My wife works out 3-4 times a week, we both volunteer time for our church. How do we do it? We don't watch nearly as much TV as we used to, or spend that much time on the computer.
_____________________________
It's not a good workout unless you doubt your sanity when you are done...
(in reply to Malek256)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 3/10/2008 9:49:06 AM
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RobertN
Posts: 188
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Northern Colorado
Status: offline
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My wife and I both have odd schedules. She works late week mids (Wed-Sat, 9PM to 7AM). I work Mon-Fri 7AM-4:30PM, and I am a reserve police officer that works odd shifts during the week and some weekends. We have one child in 1st grade, and one in pre-school.
When my wife still had a gym membership, she would take the young'un with her (they had a day care at the gym). Now that we have all the equipment that we need in our basement, that is our gym. She still works out her regular times for the most part. I work out in the evenings, usually around 7:30 or 8, after the kiddos go to bed. That way I get to spend my evenings with them, then the wife and I (when she is home and not at work) can go downstairs.
One thing that makes it easy for me is my wife works out religiously since she is a figure competitor. Which is what got me started working out. We now have our gym set up in the basement and can do pretty much anything we need to do right at home.
Plus, when we are all downstairs, the kids like "working out" with us. My 7 y/o son loves doing pull-ups with me.
_____________________________
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
<~~~~~~ Resident Ectomorph!
Age: 37
Height: 5' 10"
Starting weight: 130#, January 2, 2008
Current weight: 160#, May 15, 2008
Weight goal: Anywhere north of 165#
(in reply to ironaddict)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 4/14/2008 4:11:13 AM
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Luke Whippo
Posts: 59
Joined: 4/3/2008
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it does not take me much time to get in a great workout, I've done 5min sessions that leave that great high and DOMS feeling for days after, plus gives me the the strength and energy to enhance my work ability, and take my dog for good walks/runs after a 10hour work day.
(walking and running with dog is healthy)
I was more obbsessed in my 20's (for vanity reasons) and that was not healthy, I only train on average 2-days aweek, I look at my workouts as a hobby really, but the gains I make are life enhancing, so it's both hobby and lifestyle with me.
it also took me awhile to realize I don't need to eat like a bodybuilder to be healthy, I just need to eat healthy.
(doesn't take much time to eat fruit throughout the day)
note: I don't step on stage (however my gains now are better then when I was more obsessed).
the only unhealthy things I do is spend an hour once a week smoking a cigar with a few beers, this takes more time out than training does.
(in reply to metabomaster)
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RE: Time to workout w/ family, career, & kids - 4/14/2008 1:39:52 PM
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Tawney
Posts: 47
Status: offline
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it's very obvious that she is bent up with jealousy. You train before she even wakes or notices you're gone and she's got something to say to you??? yea, RIGHT.
Jealousy is an ugly emotion, and I don't see how coddling her is the answer.
I'm just being honest and straitforward when I say, "What sort of advice do you expect?" seriously. The bottom line is you have 2 choices, quit training or continue training. If you plan to continue then maybe it would be wise to make it very clear that the gym gladly accepts females and that she can have exactly what you have if that's what she wants. If that's not what she wants that's also great, but this gives my soul joy and if you don't want my soul to have joy then you don't want me.
PERIOD.
< Message edited by Tawney -- 4/14/2008 1:57:20 PM >
(in reply to Luke Whippo)
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