My ramblings, the endless journey

Front squat 5x 3 112 lbs X 3
 
Bench press: 3x5; 46 lb dumbbells x 5 (got them all, easily... shoulder still troublesome

Power clean:5x3 107 lbs x 3 I got them all

Chins piss poor 1 full 9 negitives 1st 2 sets , last  set 10 negs,
 All my cleans were horrid, I don't know what is up with my motivation, well I don' have any, that is the problem.

Certainly not eating enough, i found new definition in my upper thigh (upper thigh and definition historically something of an oxymoron for me) . I should just full fledge committe to cutting. but the whole getting weaker... gets to me. but I am getting weaker right now, so I just should roll with it and make it purposfull right???

I have the same problem when I'm really cutting, the strength goes down slightly or stalls which damages the ego particularly just after weight lifted has been going up in amount during previous months. Failing to finish a set for however many intended reps etc can really  psychologically ruin my day.

''If one is after quick results one never learns an art.''

Erich Fromm

I have been away from a computer for a few, and this is going to continue for another week or so, probably.

Adam, It is disheartening, to loose those pounds you fought tooth and nail for, I can fight and struggle for weeks force 5 more pounds on the bar, and if I decide to lean up a little, poof they are gone, and there friends are all weighting in line to jump ship, 5 pounds at a time.


Jane, As I have been working on strength for a while, I let my body weight go up, with in reason, so yes my waist tapers (thanks!),  and I am hour glassy, but I have let myself get right on the threshold of too big (remember I am kinda muscly and that does not translate in winter layers, I just look bigish). And yes my fat likes to hang out in the butt, and thighs.

So I am thinking a 20 pound (uuughhh ) cut is in order, (I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I am going to do now, but it would be folly for me to continue with a minimal strength based routine, as all it will do for me is accurately record how much strength I am loosing weekly (that is not going to help my motivation). So onward with little rest, onward with super sets, onward with higher volume, onward with faster workouts!

and also again I need a break  from lifting my maximums, I am expending too much mental energy getting ready to work out, and not only being overly concerned with whether or not I am capable of doing what I outlined, but what happens when I need to ditch the weight, when there is NOWHERE for me to ditch it safely. If it is lighter weight then I can contol, better my failure, verses my near maxs, where if I continue I am going to really hurt myself, break te fish tank or kill my rabbit, in the process.

By memory I am going to botch the past few workouts, and weight lifted but I will edit correct when I bring my journal in next time.

super sets with full rest 3x 12 60 sec rest

front squat 3 x12, 77lbs
2 point dumbell bent over rows 3 x12 25 lbs (each)

goodmornings 3 x 12 22 lbs
dumbell push press, 3 x 12, 25

lunges 3 x12, 25 lbs (each dbell, both legs counts as 1 rep)

(I can't remember I know I used the same weight lunges and press, and row I think...... maybe they were 30's )

v-sit up bent knee 3 x 12

---

snatch grip dead lift (choosn specifiaclly so I can't compare to my reg deadlift) 3 X 12 137
Bench press 3 x 12 40 lbs 3 x 10, 40, 3 x 9 40 (a little to heavy on my dbells)

clean and press overhead squat (*each rep clean, then press (strict), readjust grip, drop to a squat, stand up,  bring the weight back down start again from floor.... 3 x12 here is a good laugh, drum roll please...... 37lbs
(hahahaha)
chin ups solid negatives, with most often a good static hold at the top, 3 x12

Romanian dead lift combined with bent over row, 3 x 12  lbs 66 lbs
Russian twists (good concentration), 3 x 12

---

Kung fu has been uneventful mostly, had some good form spar partners, I have been working on my two testing forms quite a bit. I am nowhere near as well prepared as I was last test, but I have a few weeks yet. 

I am having a hard time stepping up and taking more responsibility on class (calling forms and stuff)... Kung Fu has become the only place I have where I go and I am told exactly what to do by other people, my only job is to try and do what I am told.... This is ending, as I am adancing, my responsibility to the beginners becomes an important part of my learning. I have never enjoyed being a follower, but in Kung Fu it was a delightful almost endulgnet break from my responsibilites. I am sucking it up, but slightly sad about it.

Thinking hard about spirit class I would like to join around my year anniverery, so feb 11

Going to go and buy my hitting stick, I think this weekend!!!!!!

super sets with full rest 3x 12 60 sec rest

front squat 3 x12, 82 bs
2 point dumbell bent over rows 3 x12 25 lbs (each)

goodmornings 3 x 12 27 lbs
dumbell push press, 3 x 12, 25

lunges 1x12, 1 x 7  25 lbs twisted my hip weird, totally pulled my groin... or something, I tried to push through, not a good idea

v- it up 3 x12

---

snatch grip dead lift  3 X 12 142
Bench press 3 x 12 40 lbs 2 x 12, 40, 1 x 10 40

groin would not let me sqaut past 1/2 and that was achieved with significant discomfort and pressure. did OH press instead of my plan. 3 x 12 @ 52
chin ups solid negatives, with most often a good static hold at the top, 3 x12

Romanian dead lift combined with bent over row, 3 x 12  lbs 66 lbs
Russian twists (good concentration), 3 x 12

test on Monday I hav a lot of thoughs and no time to record them.

super sets with full rest 3x 10; 45 sec rest
front squat 3 x12, 82 bs
2 point dumbell bent over rows 3 x10 30 lbs (each)

goodmornings 3 x 10 32 lbs
dumbell push press, 2 x 10, 1 x 8 30 lbs each; totally crapped out there at the end 

lunges 2 x 10  30 lbs, 1 x 1 body weight x 25 groin pain still troublesome, it reoccured last two reps of 2 nd set, it was sharp enough, that my last set just did 25 fast with no weight.

v- it up 2 x12 1 x 15

ok kung fu report....

well, phan told me several times how much better I move... that is crazy because he does not compliment people often at all!!!!!!Said "I pass you". Well, I didn't because I test Monday or Thursday, but that means he saw in my independant practice, that I am doing what he wants to see on test day. Phan also gave me more advice on free spar, clear movement nothing fancy, sharp clean movements. But hwe was also worried that I was pissed off at him on Tuesday, and he doesn't want to loose me, so I am sure some of the attention I got was to make sure I knew I was liked and valued as a student (well my check book anyway, nahhh, hahaha; he has told so many students to not come back, or they are not allowed back, he doesn't keep students he does not see value in).

I am going to try to get my hitting stick this weekend or next since I can start weapons week after next : )

3 x 10 @ 45 sec rest (I miss the 15 seconds, crazy huh)

snatch grip dead lift  3 X 10 147
Bench press 3 x 12 43 lbs 2 x , 10, 1 x 6 

  I went to do my multi lift... 2 problems , when I do high rep lifts with explosive elements (like cleans under 5 reps), I shake my fish tank... (I forget about that til I turn my head and see it shaking) and I have been working out real late, like starting at 11 11 :30, jumoing on top of my neighbors, while they try to sleep is just bad behaviour, so I guess I am just going to have to accpt for now, OH squats instead of the buig combo.... I will just have to plan better for a bail out...I did not change the weight on the bar, once I decuided I could not do my jump so yeah the weight is too light for a 10 set of Overhead squats. 3 x 10 @ 42


chin ups solid negatives, with most often a good static hold at the top, 3 x10 (held longer at top this time with the 

Romanian dead lift combined with bent over row, 3 x 10  lbs 62 lbs (last weeks number was not right, I am not sure this weeks number is either, but i force them, on the row, so I know thsi round I was looking much more for good form, and less focus on the weight.

Russian twists (good concentration), 3 x 12


2 nd time BEST TEST OUT OF MY SKILL LEVEL!!!!!!!

It was not as good as my first test (IMO), i feel out of one stance, inellagantly, but i faked it.. I fell into my next stance, it was more of a wobble, in long bird, during one of the one footed poses, I wanted to pause a little longer, but I was loosing it. Same thing with the first kick sequence in five elements... but it was just a wobble, I recovered (I don't even know if any one noticed, and it did not affect any of the following 5 kick sequences, I went through the rest as confidant as if I nailed the first one), after that it was all gravy...

I was told my forms are really good, my expression is good, everybody commented about how powerful, I make the forms, several people said that I always show power and force when I practice, and during class, but when I test it is even more so. my rythem, is good.

Phan told me much better than last time, good test, excellant!!!! HORRAY!!!!

You seem to really be getting into this Kung Fu! What's the spirit thing you were talking about?

Add me on facebook!

good to see you ripped!

Yeah I am into the Kung Fu... I am slow to commit to anything but once I do, that is it. I knew going in it was a 10 year endeavor, and a good 5 years to really be able to fight in our way.

Spirit....

I have explained, but I sound like a nut case when I read what I write about it... remember very non spiritual/ fairly anti religion, girl over here.... yeah but anyway...

Spirit class is part of our form, it is.... well my form of Kung Fu is Taoist in origins, and practic, as many of the Kung Fu's are/ well really were, is more accurate. WHen China went communist they removed any mention of spirit practice from the Martial Arts found in China... It is.... oogey boogey nonesense (as jheft used to say). It is ancestor worship, it is inernal training, verses physical form... Alright I'll write it again... Basically you are given a teacher (who has been dead for 1000 years or so), you are bound to his/her spirit... in a ceremony......... after that you meditate until you are in a trance, your teacher will posses your body and will do whatever they would like to do on that given day, with your body... they will cleanse, or start a fight with someone, or take you through forms, force you to do acrobatics....supposedly you learn from this it alters your concious form for the better. I'll put this ratio in again, 9 out of 10 spirit class students would NOT be intersted in a drum circle, nor are they new age (phan hates the new agers), and my friend of 14 years John is one of the most solid grounded humans I know... I have watched spirit class, if nothing else they certainly can meditate them selves into a trance or perform some sort of auto hypnosis... cause I know what I saw, and I saw some people do some stuff they are not physically capable of.



I know I know I know..... kookie pants right????

I worked yesterday 9 am till 11 pm , I diod not have the stuff in me to lift after the 14 hour day, so I will skip kung fu tonight so I can lift and get back on schedule.

thehardway


good to see you ripped!

Yeah I am into the Kung Fu... I am slow to commit to anything but once I do, that is it. I knew going in it was a 10 year endeavor, and a good 5 years to really be able to fight in our way.

Spirit....

I have explained, but I sound like a nut case when I read what I write about it... remember very non spiritual/ fairly anti religion, girl over here.... yeah but anyway...

Spirit class is part of our form, it is.... well my form of Kung Fu is Taoist in origins, and practic, as many of the Kung Fu's are/ well really were, is more accurate. WHen China went communist they removed any mention of spirit practice from the Martial Arts found in China... It is.... oogey boogey nonesense (as jheft used to say). It is ancestor worship, it is inernal training, verses physical form... Alright I'll write it again... Basically you are given a teacher (who has been dead for 1000 years or so), you are bound to his/her spirit... in a ceremony......... after that you meditate until you are in a trance, your teacher will posses your body and will do whatever they would like to do on that given day, with your body... they will cleanse, or start a fight with someone, or take you through forms, force you to do acrobatics....supposedly you learn from this it alters your concious form for the better. I'll put this ratio in again, 9 out of 10 spirit class students would NOT be intersted in a drum circle, nor are they new age (phan hates the new agers), and my friend of 14 years John is one of the most solid grounded humans I know... I have watched spirit class, if nothing else they certainly can meditate them selves into a trance or perform some sort of auto hypnosis... cause I know what I saw, and I saw some people do some stuff they are not physically capable of.



I know I know I know..... kookie pants right????

I worked yesterday 9 am till 11 pm , I diod not have the stuff in me to lift after the 14 hour day, so I will skip kung fu tonight so I can lift and get back on schedule.

Ms. way...I was all into your post
it was really interesting....until....
 
KOOKIE PANTS
Really????
Kookie pants???
KOOKIE PANTS!!!!
 
So after such a great post....I took away Kookie pants.....Well, at least you spelt it correct....LOL...Just kidding SWEATY.....Er....Sweetie...HaHaHaHa!

Current Stack: HDROL,Celltech,Superpump 250, Glutamine,Beta alanine,Whey protein.

how else do you wanna describe what I wrote Mr. Up

I stand by kookie pants.... I am obviously a little conflicted about what I have seen and how I process the universe as I know it... although not by that much, as much of the Taoist philosophies make a lot of sense to me... until we get to the kookie pants parts...

You know I always like hearing from you sweaty, or is that sweetie, no I meant sweaty, hahaha

FYI, i doubt anyone will care or notice, I will be away from my computer for the next 6 days or so, so you won't be hearing from me, but time off from work = weights, kung fu, treadmill (bf actually managed to pick it up for me yesterday from a friend of his), and nap time!!!!!

^^^^^^^^^
6 days off from work?
Sounds great...but with that much free
Time.....You'll have to regulate yourself or you could go all
KOOKIE PANTS on us....HaHaHa!

Have fun Ms. Way...
You will be missed!

Current Stack: HDROL,Celltech,Superpump 250, Glutamine,Beta alanine,Whey protein.

super sets with full rest 3x 10@ 45 sec rest

front squat 3 x10, 87  bs
2 point dumbell bent over rows 3 x10 30 lbs (each)

goodmornings 3 x 10 32 lbs
dumbell push press, 3 x 10 x 30

lunges 3 x 10 30 lbs
v- it up 3 x12

---

3 x 10 @ 45 sec rest
snatch grip dead lift  3 X 10 147
Bench press 1 x10, x 8 , 6 @ 43 (each)
oh squats 3 x 10 @ 52
chin ups solid negatives, with most often a good static hold at the top, 3 x10 hold longer at top

Romanian dead lift combined with bent over row, 3 x 10  lbs 62 lbs
Russian twists (good concentration), 3 x15



super sets with full rest 3x 8@ 30 sec rest

front squat 3 x8, 92  bs
2 point dumbbell bent over rows 3 x8 35 lbs (each)

good mornings 3 x 10 37 lbs
dumbbell push press, 1 x 8 x 35, 1 x 6, 1 x 5 @ 35

lunges 3 x 8 35 lbs (should be higher but isn't)
v- it up 3 x15

---

yeah probably about half of that is not right... ehh close enough to get the idea.


my kung fu report, phan agagion and a=gian complimented me on my test... when it came around to doing forms in class, as he was picking people to call this or that, I got "hardway, you call bird since your test was perfect.", he he... no not perfect, buti did do good... still did not make it to the stick store, and I did not make it in to weapons class yesterday... I had to much of my life to try to catch up on the past 6 days off, and my scedlue ids winding up again, into a freenzy, and while I should have spent maybe more time on my physical body, I had to play adult too much, and then I had to play 17 year old too, just for balance.

Anyway I have to fuigure out my time management, as if I go to weapons, and very soon spirt, my time spent at kung fu is going to increase and I need to figure out what days to lift what days to fu, and and which will get doubled up... I think I will go to weapons one day a week, but leave right after (mondays), then I can go home and lift, I shouldn't be overly exaushted. 


Started doing a little running with the treadmill, well, I used it to warm up before my balistic streches. I hate running, but i really hate running on treadmills, I want to HIIT, but changing the speeds, always seems hairy, will have to get used to the thing before I can start really killing it. 

nothing exciting... had good class, got to spar with buddy John, he and his wife just had their second child a month ago... Any chance i had of actually getting the better of john would have been last night (he is a little sleep deprived), but yeah, he too good... We had a blast though, especially since he was sloppy, it is bad news when I am the on point partner, and I was. Man we had a lot of fun... I revisited my issues with shoulder blade take down, I had it like 4 months ago, and now i have lost it, I just don't come down in the correct spot, but we worked it. I was chastised most strongly about my balance, and my grabbing. during the five elements kick sequence (application, not form), it's a couple of strikes and blocks and then a 5 kick series.... You grab the punching hand... kick it a fast front kick,  low kick, side kick and then a hook kick sweep, switch feet, side kick , switch side kick... now your supposed to break the arm when you change sides... which means you hold on to it (and if this is being done at fight speed, it would work, with the right opponent, in the right situation), when you switch legs you pull the arm behind them, I guess I grab to tight, I guess I use it to balance... balls!

****

yu know how long ago was it that I told someone here that they have to suck it up, and lift when really tired and after long days at work... and I can't manage to do it myself anymore...

At work at 7:30 am I left to go home at 10 pm, could have been 9;45 but i had to catch up on the calve size thread (rolls eyes and punches self in face), back in this morning at 7:30.

This is a huge problem, tonight I spar, and have regular class... that is 2 and a half hours of kung fu and I don't leave until 8:30... lift tonight... I don't see it happening... Friday I fu, again (and I can not keep missing classes either, I have missed too many days due to us being closed for holidays,and then test week, and all that jazz).... I am pissed, about the whole thing. Saturaday I work 10 am to 11 pm... I am screwed.

It seems you have made kung fu a priority over your lifting.

Add me on facebook!

Yes, your right about that.... although it is more due to circumstance, more than anything else.

Class is a class it is at a specific time, if I miss i miss it... I can't go through the forms in my house well, I don't have enough room.

It is very difficult to learn, the movements and patterns, and I have three new forms to learn... I only know sort of the first one and I can not internalize it... I have to go over and over them with older students who have the inclination to teach it too me, and repeat and repeat and repeat... I am hoping that long dragon will go like long bird, similar moves tacked on to the base form, and I can remember it more easily. And then there is staff form... that is entirely new.

In November I was skipping class when necessary to get all my lifting days in... but now the pattern is reversed.

But yeah, I have really pretty much given up on leaning proper snatches, and full cleans, jerks the serious oly lifts... There is only so much the human body can learn to do at one time... so the lifting supports the fighting, and i am going to get more serious about doing more sport specific, martial arts geared routines, as I progress.

Not to mention, I am cutting... I had to get off low rep heavy routines for a minute (I can not stand to watch my strength drop, and it is), and the kung fu helps my cut.

Well as long as you're happy :)

Add me on facebook!

I'm never gonna be happy ripped... hahaha

No it has helped my attitude greatly, I am much slower to anger since going to kung fu, Getting beat up regularly has improved my aggression, more than weightlifting ever has or will. My flexibilty gets better everyday, my balance and grace do too (although with the 2 steps forward one step back style of learing this art, I get more clumsy for a while, and then suddely I am more graceful and powerful than ever. Weird business. ANd yeah, I CAN fight, I will be a very good fighter eventually.

But, I have not lost the love of picking up heavy things, by any strech of the imagination. I HAVE to be significantly stronger that the avarage woman...I couldn't live with myself.... I do want to do another very serious strenght round, after I have cut all I can stand... So don't worry, I still want a 300 lb deadlift sitting at 140- 150 lbs (aprox, that is the closest thing to a goal weight I have ever had). But for now strength routine is probably not going to be until summer.


I digress, fight night!!!! Had good class. Alan beat me up, although I believe I would have been called winner, if we did such things. My knuckels are swolen and bruised, I have a wicked welt on my left forearm......one of these days I am gonna take pictures to post here, so you all don't think I am a winny liar about what I do. Strained my ankel some how....I don't even know what happened I just woke up limping.

Forms was fine I worked on snake tiger, I still can't remember it past the first 25 movements... (25 out of.........130... more?????) Yeah that is gonna be a problem.

Form spar good time worked out with white Brandon (not to be confused with yellow Brandon, Phans words not mine).. He and I always end up together when we do spin kicks for some reason... that's terrible. He has been around a year or two longer than I, his background is in Aikido, so he is not much better at spin kicking than I am, and not much better at understanding how to make them happen.. But we had fun we worked hard, and learned form each other... Good class across the board.

The fell down the stairs yesterday aggravated my sprained ankle from the day before (the one that caught and lowered my body down), I didn't really notice it until I got to class and took off my boots. I couldn't move right at all I couldn't do any of the one footed stances, I couldn't shift my weight or twist. horse stande, cat stance, knife hand back... monkey low, snake stance... none of then.  I warmed up, peorsonally, and then did about half the warm ups in class, I had to go... I couldn't do them right, and then my ankle started swelling and stiffening even worse. If it would have loosened up, and still given me pain I would have stayed, no question, but the more I tried the harder, and tighter it got... I listened to my body I did not want to go, but rather than tripping and making it much worse, I got dressed and went home. I am not going to attempt weights til Monday night. Today I am at work for 13 hours minimum, tomorrow, I have to visit a friend go to Kung fu's Chinese New Years celebration, and then catch a friend who is in town forom Colorado, for one night.

You're a very thrifty being.
I admire that. I am too.

Can't wait to start a martial art. Starting it towards the end of this year, when I have a sufficient income from PT.
Until then, I gotta get a lot of stuff for my career out of the way. But rest assured my desire to learn how to fight has not diminished - I watch vids and teach myself things all the time.

Have you looked into breathing exercises? Paul Chek's 'zone' exercises are great to relieve tension, physically and mentally, it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system to relieve tension because during times of stress your sympathetic nervous system becomes overactive.
I dunno, you come across as a bit tense for someone who's practicing martial arts. You gotta learn to find inner peace to utilize the good and power in everything around you and everything you're being taught. Bruce Lee style. :p

Wyrms didn't you read....I SAID MARTIAL ARTS IS MAKING ME LESS ANGRY, DAMN IT
hahahahahahahahahahahah.... ahaahha  J/K!!!

It really has.

I had my yearly review, and it was commented on that i am much calmer than I have been... I think my bosses exact phrase was... you know since you started Kung Fu you have been almost down right cuddly, sometimes I am actulally disappointed about how calmly you react to certain things anymore. 

 I am just frustrated with my schedule, and my work right now... My job is killing me, and they are being so hypocritical right now, which is not so unusual, but their bad reactions, to a current situation, is making the biggest pile of busy work for which will in turn all need to be redone in a a year or two...all it does now is steal my focus from the real priorities. My motivation has suffered, and my time... there is just not enough time in the day.

I am having a very hard time lifting, and then when I have the energy/time to I am damaged in one way or the other. Although this particular weekend... my time was so limited, I am glad I was hurt, because at least that is a more justifiable excusse, better that... whinning oohhh i'm tired. But, lifting is ingrained into my life, otherwise I would have stopped years ago, I am sure... SoI will swing up again, I am just annoyed. I'll look into the breathing


Hey wyrms I linked this in another thread... before you choose a school (whatever form of martial art you choose), give this book a read. It is specifically about Kung Fu, but there is a chapter on choosing a school and a style, that is really outstanding, a must I think, for anyone who is contemplating studying.
http://www.amazon.com/Sword-Polishers-Record-Kung-Fu-Martial/dp/0804831386/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Fair enough, I'll keep it in mind.

Btw, I know you said it makes you less angry, but I just said that you seem a bit tense in general for someone who loves martial arts. Usually passionate martial arts I've met are peaceful wholesome beings. :p I know you're striving to that but it's so hard when people are so crap.

Thanks. =]

And yes, I encourage the breathing. lol

Yeah, I just goggled...

Qigong is an integral part of the art I study....

Even better! :p lol

Well they gave me a big stick and showed me how to hit people with it!!!!!!YEAHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Over the course of an hour I was shown how to pick my stick up with 1 foot and 1 hand, sweep it over my head hit some one, swirl it back behind my back to park, over my head again, hit, block, hit in a cross stance, and then drop the stick off behind my back again. That was a full hour. Got a little sore spot on the side of my thumb, no biggie, just funny.

I think it is actually going to be as fun as it always looked... when does that ever happen?

Made this a full week off from lifting, I was close enough, I tend to run out of gas in 6 week intervals anyway. It is something i fight constantly, I don't know why I fight it to be honest, I'm old anyway... shouldn't be surprising.

I got to figure a new routine, in the next day or two.

Hey I am up for suggestions from anybody reads this thing.

We got our Chinese New Year present in class... secret teachings... more cursive form work... taking very basic moves, making them more effective, in real fights, more sneaky, more cursive, energy redirects, stuff like that. Focus on very close quarters fighting, rather than long range attacks, or defenses. Difficult to figure out and learn.

Side note about my school, several students and Phan auditioned  for the Avitar (I think that is how you spell it) movie...the one based off of the cartoon/anime series, I believe. They filmed my schools audition and took pics of them, they did not film any of the others who auditioned. It would be very cool if my school was used as extras, although if we were I highly doubt I would be included in the mix... but you never know.

I am on the hunt for a new routine, lift tonight, i'll finish up the last week of my preplanned cycle. If I haven't found anything new I like by the time that is done I do have another 4-6 weeks planned out, but i don't really want to do what I have outlined... I would really like something entirely new. I am bored with lifting, need something exciting.

Again if anybody reads this stupid thing... I am open for suggestions.

Suggestions for what? A new routine? I'd suggest a 2 or 3 day routine seeing how focused you are on fu right now.

Add me on facebook!

do you have any ideas on  2 day routine that would help keep most of my strength, ripped?

 I am having huge problems with recovery these days, i would like to address that along with keeping my mass and strength.. I am afraid if work keeps killing me the way it has been I will just start regressing= inrceased lackI of motivation= more regression= motivation in the toilet= week = unacceptable.

I keep looking around at routines... I haven't found anything i like, minus stuff that is not possible for me to do right now. I am bored to pieces by my standard go to routines...

I am just having a hard time these days, with this side of my training....

You know the more I think about it, ripped... I would be willing to pay you for a routine... just so I can get it off of my mind.