Induction Day

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_Virtuoso_

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Induction Day - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 11:26 AM ( #1 )
Well, I hadn't paid my fees at my local gym and couldn't afford to either. So seeing that the local swimming pools (casual) gym had a 10 days for 5 quid offer on I thought I'd go there. They have a bunch of cardio machines, a bunch of weight machines, a rack of dumbbells and a single bench. I was told yesterday that I would have to have a mandatory induction before I could use the equipment, so whatever, I'll do it just so I can use the gym. It was booked for today and so I went. /facepalm

My dad came with me as he occasionally trains along-side. So we get there and straight away the lols began. The 'instructor' had a nice gut and a chin.....or two - and not in the 'on a bulk' way, more the 'I like beer and curry' way. We sat down at his desk and proceeded to fill out membership forms. Alcahol consumed per week? N/A for me. We handed over the forms and upon reading my N/A he scoffed "not too honest", to which I looked at him and said "I don't drink". He paused trying to work out if I was serious before saying, "no, no me neither much anymore, very rarely" - the look on his face said otherwise.

After filling out the forms we started the induction circuit. He took us over to the treadmills and told us how to use them - bare in mind I had informed him I use the gym regularly. After trying to force me to run so I would know how to use it (I bluntly refused to run), he took us to the stair machine where my lack of enthusiasm was quite clear when he tried to force me to keep stepping for 5 minutes. At this point he said "you should do cardio, you should try and eat better too, whats your diet like, take me through your day of food?" at which point my dad glanced over with a lol on his face, and I then told the instructor my diet. His loss for words was amusing, and he promptly took us to the rowing machine where after going through how to use it he informed me if I want to get big I have to do as much cardio as weights, to which I said 'thats not true at all' - with little objection from him.

Then we went to the leg machines, he turned around and asked my father what his goal was, "do you want to gain stamina? bulk? or 'tone'? (/slap)", my dad replied 'improve stamina and maybe lose a little fat', to which the instructor replied "right then, you need high rep low weight"........
Then he turned to me and said, "what are your goals?".
I replied, "gain mass".
"And do you want to focus on upper or lower body?"
At this point I wanted to turn into Taz the tasmanian devil, and spin in a raging fit whilst screaming "Taz hate inductions"
However, I didn't.

We then went over to several other machines, one of which was the low pulley. He got us to do a few reps of upright rows, to which I exclaimed whilst repping, "you know these are terrible for your shoulders, you're at risk of rotator cuff injury".
His face said it all,   O_o    "really....right.....erm.....okay"
My dad, of course, just stood by amused by the whole situation.

After inducting us, which took a painful 45 minutes, the instructor went for an hour and a half tea-break. I know this because I could see him, and when we left he was still there. What a doss. Induct people and go for a tea-break.

I knew it was going to be bad, I didn't know it was going to be that bad.


<message edited by _Virtuoso_ on Tuesday, October 27, 2009 12:09 PM>



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SEOINAGE

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Re:Induction Day - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 11:56 AM ( #2 )
That is pretty hilarious.  The worst thing is when you get shown around a gym by someone trying to sell you something, and they don't even ask you about your goals and start explaining how amazing each treadmill and machine is.  Sounds like a painful experience, probably what is worse for you is knowing that people think trainers like this actually know what they are talking about, and this guy probably thinks he knows a lot too.
AdamScott

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Re:Induction Day - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 2:17 PM ( #3 )
Ah yes the dreaded gym induction. Luckily I've managed to get away without having one at all the gyms I go to.
''If one is after quick results one never learns an art.''

Erich Fromm



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Re:Induction Day - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 3:35 PM ( #4 )
Lmao!!  Wish I could've been there!  Fortunately the vibe I get from the staff at my YMCA these days is that they don't quite understand what in the hell I'm doing but can tell by the looks of me that's it's working.  I've asked them questions every so often and I'm usually somewhat disappointed with the quality of the response.  It's not a serious trainer's gym and it's cheap, especially for the family membership, so I shouldn't complain. 

Let me get this straight:  To bulk up, I need to hop on the treadmill?  I'm so undecided whether to focus on upper body or lower.  If I want to focus on upper bod, do I do treadmill on my hands?
Yet

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Re:Induction Day - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 6:44 PM ( #5 )
I tried another gym for a two week free trial.  At the induction the guy tried to make me use the Eliptical.  I just breathed loudly for about three seconds, and gave a powerful, "No!"  That was the end of my induction.

Then I was asked to leave because they don't allow powercleans, or deadlifts.

Never went back.
President of the Emancipation Detoxification. DBB's oldest forum group, punching baby seals since 2/12/08
Perrynaytor

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Re:Induction Day - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 7:11 PM ( #6 )
Yet


I tried another gym for a two week free trial.  At the induction the guy tried to make me use the Eliptical.  I just breathed loudly for about three seconds, and gave a powerful, "No!"  That was the end of my induction.

Then I was asked to leave because they don't allow powercleans, or deadlifts.

Never went back.


I bet every member of that gym was a swole 150 pounds and making terrific progress..


/sarcasm
feb 2010
220 12-14%
bp 315
bs 405
dl 515

Yet

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Re:Induction Day - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 7:54 PM ( #7 )
Perrynaytor


Yet


I tried another gym for a two week free trial.  At the induction the guy tried to make me use the Eliptical.  I just breathed loudly for about three seconds, and gave a powerful, "No!"  That was the end of my induction.

Then I was asked to leave because they don't allow powercleans, or deadlifts.

Never went back.


I bet every member of that gym was a swole 150 pounds and making terrific progress..


/sarcasm


Lol, it's full of people I went to highshool with that are all fat now.  In my current gym  I'm one of the smaller members.  Most of the guys there are well over 230 pounds.  I've never seen Ronnie Coleman or Jay Cutler, but I don't know how they could be bigger than some of the guys in my gym.
President of the Emancipation Detoxification. DBB's oldest forum group, punching baby seals since 2/12/08
smoundzou

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Re:Induction Day - Tuesday, October 27, 2009 9:21 PM ( #8 )
I am amazed at how many gyms don't allow certain exercises..such as cleans and deadlifts.  that just doesn't make any sense at all.
There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing

 

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