I'm jumping in.

Hello everyone.  I'm a new member and have been pouring through the threads to learn all I can, and danmirage has truly been a blessing.  I would appreciate some opinions/feedback on what I should be doing to lose fat and tone muscle.
I am 46 year old female.  5'6, 159 pounds of which is 32% body fat.
I worked with a personal trainer during the winter months of 2006/07 and lost 20 pounds, putting me at 153.  I  hooked up with him again winter 2007/08 and GAINED 8 pounds, WTH?  This last time it was a different with him, he had me lifting very heavy and I struggled to make the 10-12 reps.
I have DB's, treadmill and elliptical at home and I do 20-30 minutes of cardio 6 days a week first thing of a morning.
The end of December I joined our new LA Fitness in town and am lifting 3 days a week, Monday - chest and tricep, Wednesday - (my favorite) legs and shoulders, Friday - (least favorite) back and bicep.  Do stairmaster or bike for 20 minutes after weights Monday and Friday at the gym.
I don't feel I'm making much, if any progress.  I'm not looking to be on the cover of Oxygen, but jeez, I thought I'd have a good start on weight loss by now.
So, to make a short story longer, should I be doing a split routine through the week or full body 3 x a week?
Lighter weight with more reps?
More sets?
Thanks,
cakelover

Well I would say full body 3X a week (look into starting strength), but this may cause you to gain some weight because of muscle being added, but help you lose body fat, and have you look fitter. I wouldn't think you would get bulky though, since you don't have high testosterone. And if your just trying to lose weight that's all about eating less calories than you burn so either eat less or exercise more..

Goals by end of 2009:
Bench 205
Squat 255 ATG
Squat Clean 185

"There is no elevator to success, you must take the stairs."

Oh I definitely want to build muscle.  I want a chest and shoulders people notice.
The diet is my biggest obstacle of knowing what when and why.  I just discovered from the threads I shouldn't be eating fruit pre workout, and I've been eating a banana an hour before and sometimes in my protein shake when I get home.  Sigh....
I am always hungry between breakfast and lunch and I have a snack of fruit or yogurt usually. 

Hard for me to say diet wise, as I know very little about how much most women should eat, but thehardway jane, and a few other girls on here could probably help you with that (: Oh but you sound like you could benifit from starting strength.
Week 1:

Monday - Workout A
Wednesday -Workout B
Friday - Workout A

Week 2:

Monday - Workout B
Wednesday - Workout A
Friday - Workout B

ETC.

Note: This doesn’t include warm-up sets

Workout A
3x5 Squat
3x5 Bench Press
1x5 Deadlift
**2x8 Dips (if you cant do these or no assist machine then do Decline Dumbbell Bench Press with your hands Facing each other)

Workout B
3x5 Squat
3x5 Standing military press
3x5 Bent Over Rows or power cleans
**2x8 Chin-ups (recommended mainly if doing the cleans)

Goals by end of 2009:
Bench 205
Squat 255 ATG
Squat Clean 185

"There is no elevator to success, you must take the stairs."